Tag Archives: Love

in a dream

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so deep, that you feel as though you are fully there. you feel as though it is fully your reality. i dreamt last night, (an awake dream) and a voice deep within my dream softly and powerfully spoke to me. I Love You. this voice spoke this to me three times and the last time that it said it, is when i actually understood and felt to the core of my heart what this love was, what this love felt, what this love ment and where this love came from. i don’t think i have ever given any recognition to myself. you always give recognition to those around you family friends animals whatever whoever but never does one give a love recognition to oneself. and last night i got a chance to feel this recognition. and it felt magnificent!

Love Letters to Japan

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This series of letters were written just as a new love was blossoming. A little window into the begenning.

March 24

sona sweetheart, I just heard there was an earthquake off the coast of  Tokyo, and now there’s some sort of tsunami alert. I know your okay, and I’m hoping that you remain safe out there. but, please write me or call me if at all possible and let me know that your okay love. I know I said I’d write you a lil something long but this news really disturbs me baby. so get back to me as quickly as possible. love nico

March 25


hi baby…I’m in Osaka right now, so I’m far from the area of the bad stuff happening…I’m actually at this really amazing bar and the bartender is letting me use his computer so I’m going to make it short because I don’t want to be mean….it was sooo good to hear your voice again today…I miss you loads…will write more a bit later…love Sona

March 25


as soon as I found out that there was an earthquake and tsunami alerts I got soo soo nervous for you, you can’t imagine baby, lances girlfriend had called to see if you made any contact with me. I couldn’t really fall asleep without knowing that you were okay. I immediately checked my email and there was no word, 😦 (all I could think was, “is my baby okay, I wish she would turn around and come back to me). I have to admit that the next few hours were absolutely horrible, I all of a sudden I got this 24hr. flu thing. it was the worst, I had the cold sweats and aches and all the while having your concern and well-being racking my brain. my sleep was like in 20minute intervals. during one of those little sleeps I had a small dream that this white-amber like glow was pulling you away from me, you kept looking back and every time I got a better look at you the more you were being pulled away. I was so sad, it was the most awful feeling. so you can imagine how happy I was to hear from you, I knew it was you the minute I heard the phone ring. you never sounded sweeter to me my love. I have to say I was more than relieved to hear everything was okay and that you’re going to be away from the craziness. I was so out of it last night, all I could really remember was, did I ask her every possible question concerning her safety and that I wished I could have pulled you close to me through the telephone wires, you never know baby, the Japanese are very advanced, no? jajaja so all I have to say is please be on your best alert and have fun baby. so tell me, how was the plane flight. were there enough chocolate kisses in the bag for you? did you get to read the letter? I didn’t have a clue what to write and I remembered you asking on different occasions to hear stories about me so I thought I’d give you the “Fast Times at St. Christopher’s,” version. I think
my motivation was to express my “mushy” moments with you. anyways I hope you liked it. and you don’t even know how hard it was to find a candy necklace so, henceforth came the idea of hello kitty bracelets compensatating for the necklace. eat them in good health. speaking of eating I couldn’t remember if you said you had sushi yet, if you remember have a piece of fatty tuna for me with lots of soy and wasabi okay! oh hey was your shawl in the backpack? so I know that it’s about nine in the morning over there on a Monday, I wish you clear skies and a bright warm sun
on that gorgeous face of yours. soak everything in, and I can’t express how excited I am to hear you tell me the tales of your adventures. I miss you so much love, come back to me safely and have an amazing time, and I know you will beautiful. love you…besotes grandisimas y super dulce encima todo tu cuerpo y cara magistral..mi amorcita. Chau nico

March 26


it’s raining here today…I’m writing to you from this tattoo shop that I have been at since all day yesterday and got this tattoo on my side that took four hours…started at 11pm and finished 4:30am went back to the hotel
washed it with hot water to help the bleeding…and now am back here again waiting to catch the train to Kyoto…I’ve never experienced sooooo much pain in my life as I did last night…I thought I was going to die!!!!! the artist that was doing it for me and his master told me that it is the most painful area to get one…it was supposed to be something small but then it grew into something huge!!! anyway….I’m exhausted from the pain and lack of sleep but am in good spirits…feel like I past some kind of milestone in my life with all the pain and all the agony of the birth of this tattoo…am running on beer and cigarettes right now…sorry to hear you got sick…take better care of yourself!! Love Sona

March 28


that’s really fresh that you got some more ink, I’ve been trying to picture in my head what it could be, and the only think that comes to mind is some sort of flower, maybe something real Japanese like lotus blossoms or something or that nature. you said it started out small and turned out huge. so I thought one flower grew to another, I really don’t wish to know because I’d like to be surprised. so are you happy with it? I’m sure you are. you know funny thing today wed., turned out to be this stormy, sunny and violently winday day, (I’m going to leave “Windy” spelt like that, gives it some added depth to the day), so crazy roofs were being ripped open, boats were cap-sizing and huge gaping trees were being plucked from the earth. so weird. and the sky was so, I don’t know really bright and warm on one side and black on the other, and all the while it barely rained. I wished it would. would make me sleep much sounder. I’m actually getting ready to put my head down. I feel tons better so I’m looking forward to crawling into bed. how about you, have you been burning the light at both ends, and are you still running off of beer and cigarettes, I’m sure all of the above. wish I was with you love. well soon enough then huh? I hope this greeting finds you safely and I hope you are doing more than fantastic. I miss you sona! con amor nico

March 28


that’s crazy!!! I would love to have seen that weather…
today we took the train to Kyoto and rented bikes to ride around the city…we went to some insane temples and back roads…one of the temples was surrounded by these most intricate gravestones spread out all along the mountain…as we got to the temple we took our shoes off and went to this underground area where they had made it to look like a mother’s womb and to represent love…so as we walked we had to feel our way in the pitch dark by these large beads that they had put on the wall…I’m not even joking, you couldn’t see anything not even your own hands in front of you…it was the most intense feeling, and then after a while there is this little light shinning on a stone with writing on it…we had to put our hands on it and then make a wish and then spin the stone…it was one of my fave moments among the temples…then we rode down some random streets and found crazy alleys and such and then of course I fell off the bike and scraped the side of my tattoo and my knee and my hand was all bleeding and I still had to ride the bike back to the train station…it was sooooo painful…..I’m still aching from it…I miss you sooooo much…I hope all is good with you out there…Loads of Love Sona

March 28


aww baby are you okay, I’m sorry to hear about the bike accident, I don’t want to imagine how painful that could be, and you had to ride all the way back too. I’m telepathically sending you delicate sweet besos to your scrapes and bruises (imagine the sound of a kiss HERE). I think that maybe it should’ve been you to have traveled with the evil eye. so the underground sounded really cool, were you gasping for breathes or kinda hyperventilating because, of the unknown. I think my heart would be racing so fast. that’s such a great experience. I hope your wish comes true whatever it maybe…everything is cool over here, I’m picking up some new clients and going to try to seek out some more by week’s end. I’m finally getting close to 100% just a little sore throat now. I’m actually glad I was sick the minute after you left because, it made the days go by so much faster. how about you, is the time going by too fast for you? it usually does. well love, continue to have an amazing journey, and be well, oh yeah and watch out for the bumpy roads ok! miss you like you won’t believe!  nico

March 29


the underground was way intense and I was feeling a bit dizzy and at times I was starting to doubt that there was an end to it, but then I just let go and let it be and trusted the dark and let it lead me…and soon enough I saw the bit of light and the stone…I’m back in Tokyo today, going to go out later…ummmm, my throat got a bit worse last night and today it’s just been horrible to deal with, but most of the time I try not to pay attention to it so it just doesn’t bother me…I’m not sure if I’m even making any sense right now…but I’m sure you understand…ohhh, I totally forgot to tell you that I got an email from my friend saying that she found my shawl!!!! I knew it was with me that night!!! I guess the cat had thrown it over the couch and she was cleaning the house and found it there!!! I felt sooo relived to know that I hadn’t lost my mind…yet…okay baby…my time is up in 2min so I’m going to end it here…I think of you lots…Sona

March 29


I guess I’ll be just missing you, I was online, (it’s 2:30 here, am) and I got a pop-up saying I received a new email from you so, I immediately wrote to see if they have msn messenger, I would have loved to talked to you, but, soon enough though and in person is better for me anyway. I think that’s so funny that the cat was the culprit, she was so sure that the cat wouldn’t do such a thing and then sure enough…. it resurfaces. maybe next time you have your shawl ready to go somewhere, I’ll be there too. I never told you that I used to take yoga, at least I don’t think I did but, if you would have let me park the car and let me wait with you I would’ve got into the smallest position and hid in the backpack. so are you going to be in Tokyo for the remainder of your trip or are you using Tokyo as an epicenter for activities? I do hope you get the chance to take some pictures, I’d love to see what your eye captures. you paint such lovely stories with you words and the way you express them, (when I’m near you), I can imagine that once you look through the viewfinder, you’ll spot something amazing, as only YOU could. what’s the vibe like over there? tons of energy I can imagine. are the styles their conjuring up super fresh? I do have to say the Japanese are so raw with some of the things they got on there. you know there was an Olympic qualifier for the Japanese futbol team yesterday I think it was, and they had just played Peru as well in a friendly. I hope you’re not trying to play futbol in the streets love, cause I don’t want you to come back with more bumps and bruises, okay, jajajajajajajajajaja muah, just kidding, kind off! so I hope you’re not upset when I tell you that I just came back from my friends’ house and that I rented eternal sunshine, SUPER DOPE FLICK. I was all by myself today, squeezing this last bit of sickness out and I went for a walk and found a Hollywood video and picked it up, there were more than a couple parts that I thought to myself, wow, I’ve already told sona this, or that person was thinking the exact same thing I was when… or holy shit!! sona is that quote-unquote, weird girl who takes me into random buildings, and different places…I felt so good watching it, it made me feel warm inside and it made me, I don’t know, aarrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh…alive. the one scene that really hit home was when they were lying there on the frozen tundra, all I could envision was you and I under a brilliant moon looking at each other. and then I became a bit sad thinking what if something like that happened to me were sona kept popping out of my life, it was like that dream I had the other day were that glow was taking you away from me.. and now you actually are gone, I know for not much longer but, it gave me a stronger reaffirmation about the feelings I have for you. henceforth the aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh I want to scream sometimes because the excitement of you makes me aaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhh, jajajaja, well I know you know what I mean. basgue in the beauty that is… I miss you immensely, enormously, profoundly and patiently…love you…chau linda

April 2

hi baby…so the girls left today and it’s me and one other person now…we barely found a place to stay at because all the hotels and hostels are full…we are staying somewhere for tonight but have nowhere to go for tomorrow…ummm, I think you asked me a load of questions, but I spent all my minutes reading your email so I feel like I’m not going to have time to answer them…but I did love the long email…I can’t believe you saw my fave movie without me!!!!! I’m glad you liked it though….okay, I’ll try to write more tomorrow since I think I’m going to be in the streets with no where to stay at…maybe a cafe that’s open 24/7, we can just crash there till morning…what’s the weather like there? is it hot?sorry for the short email…I promise more words soon…Love Sona

April 2


so after being ill for about a week, I had to keep myself occupied with, shit anything, to make the time go by faster, Saturday was really boring for me, no one felt like going out or anything so I stayed in twiddling my thumbs till I went to sleep. then here comes Sunday, I get a call from one of my clients and he gets to practice a half hour early, so I had to rush straight out to meet with him, all that went fine, it was quick and very productive. I got a call from Melanie and xtian, to come out for a bbq by the airport, I was close so I decided to go. I spent the rest of my day painting eggs for Easter. my egg turned out pretty cool I do have to say. I didn’t get to keep them, because they for the kids, but I am proud of my egg (art)-work anyhow. Sunday left me behind and Monday is greeting me with salutations of my corazon. It was really good to hear from you, it had been awhile since I last heard from you, so waking up to find an email from you has brightened my day:) so its Monday here the 2nd, I imagine it’s the 3rd for you over in Japan. that means two more calendar days till I get to see my heart. what time is your flight out of there? I hope you look back on the trip with sheer enjoyment and peace for your soul. what are we going to do when you get back, do I have to take you straight home, or can I kidnap you for a while? well baby, I can’t wait till I fall asleep tonight, so it will only be one more calendar days for me to see you. if you have the means and the chance to do so, please try and give me a call before you leave, okay. travel safe and be well. love you nico

April 3


it’s my last day here and I just got back from the mountains…it was a two hour train ride that I had to change the train about 5 times and then ride it till the tracks ran out and there was nothing but mountains and rain and clouds weaving in and out of mythical looking trees and brightly colored rivers…from there we took a bus to go explore some caves, while the rain was still pouring, and the bus dropped us off in the middle of nowhere and told us we had to walk and that he would be waiting for us an hour’s walk down from where we had to go…still the rain was pouring…so we walked in silence and in rain and saw snow covered peaks that were a touch away from my hands, and finally found the caves…it was sooooo beautiful, but after being in there for a while, I started craving the outside world again…at some parts the air was soooo thin you could hardly breathe…but we made it through its mazes and came out to a stronger rain fall, and started to walk back to where the bus said it would be waiting for us…it was one of the most amazing walks I have ever taken…I can’t even begin to describe how beautiful the mountains looked…they have a shape to them that I have never seen anywhere else in the world…it almost seems to be unreal, very magical looking, and the clouds seemed to dance around them, showing a bit here and there and then all of the sudden opening up to reveal the entire figure that looked like the shape of a very curved oval…I didn’t want that walk to end….along the way there were these girls walking as well, and I started to talk to them and all of the sudden we broke out into song…they loved the band KISS so we were singing the only song that I knew from them all the while the ancients around us asleep…
anyway, I leave today…my flight is at 4:55pm, I arrive there I think 10:30am or something…it’s a united flight…I’ll see you in a bit then…Love Sona

i am found

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So i was rummaging through my papers last night. Taking a nice scenic drive down my memories my past lives and i came across a questioner that i had done when i was 15 years old for a class. I couldn’t help smiling so joyously from the inside at the realization that i have remained constant in at least one thought, one frame of mind through everything that has happened and changed i have held onto this one idea Agape! It’s like finding treasure that makes the world shine even brighter than it already has been. I also found some notes i had written when i was in high school about how love really is the only way. All of the brilliant minds knew this one very simple notion. From John Lennon, Bob Marley, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr. and so on. These powerful beings embraced an absolute and they walked this earth with an enormous glow.

The Questioner
1. Who are you?
I am Sona, I would like to be Love.
2. What are my roots?
I am Armenian, I am not religious but i believe in God.
3. Who have I known?
I have known many teachers and friends. One philosopher and one pastor.
4. What have I done?
I have traveled like a gypsy. I have fallen and I have been found under the glow of a street light.

I love this! This makes me trust in my path even stronger!